Inglewood

I’m in LA with my boy and we’re having a great time. I’ll post some pictures when I get a chance but in the mean time let me tell you about my arrival to LA…….

We land at around 3pm and go straight to the car hire place to pick up our car. We’re first in line and get the car super quick and everything seems to be going swimmingly. We both decide that I should drive so I can used to it as soon as possible because we’re gonna need to be in different places at different times. I pull out of the car park onto the main road, we drive for about 50meteres and I have to make a left turn. I attempt to do this and… CRASH someone slams into the front of me. I was stunned, like what the fuck just happened?

Have I JUST got into this car and already had an accident?!

Really!?!?

Yes.

The guy who we hit was an honest to god gangbanger from Inglewood; he had gang tattoos on his neck and was driving a low Cadillac. So now not only have I crashed the rental but I’m also gonna get me and my boy shot.

The gangbanger just sits in his car so we get out and check if he’s ok so we can exchange insurance details and get on with our lives. No such luck. He refuses to talk and calls the POLICE! So the police turn up and the gangbanger starts saying he’s hurt and he is suffering major headaches and cant move his car. The police call the fire brigade to block of the intersection and the ambulance service to take the weak gangbanger to hospital for his ‘headache’. Please remember I’ve been in the country for less then an hour and already I’ve met all the emergency services barring the coast guard.

Once weakness left to go to the hospital I gave all my information to the police and was free to go. We got back in the mashed up rental and drove the 4 minute drive back to the car hire place. Those people didn’t even blink! They just took back the car and gave me another one straight away, no questions asked. Insurance rocks.

The roads here are huge. I’ve been to America before but never to LA and it is just a totally different thing. Nearly every road has 4 lanes and trying to turn across them is a bitch. Also the cars are like monsters. Everyone has these big houses on wheels. It’s ridiculous. I got the smallest thing on offer and that was a jeep. What the hell do you need a jeep for? All the roads are flat and straight! I’ve been here two weeks now and I think I’m finally getting to grips with the driving. No more accidents….. So far!